Dear Dottie Park Abusers,
Dottie Hottie here again. I get it. You don’t like my surveillance of the Dorchester’s finest parks. In fact, I know you’d prefer I not call Johnny Law on you when you’re setting fire to the basketball courts or administering hand jobs on the playground structures. But I’m annoying in that I have a lot of free time on my hands and am actually just bold enough to think playground structures are for the primary use of the U-12 crowd, so I’ll keep on.
In the meantime, it would be really great if you could dispose of your used c-o-n-d-o-m-s instead of littering them next to the play structures BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME WANT TO RALPH ALL OVER, and if you could cease tinkling in the little playground tunnel (what with so much ample field and woods surrounding for your outhouse needs), that’d be much appreciated, too.
Kindest regards,
Dottie Hottie & Co.
June 16th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
You can sign my name to this letter too. In fact, with all the trash barrels conveniently located on major roads at well-travelled intersections, sanitary and tasteful condom disposal isn’t be too much to ask. I hate to say it’s neighborly, but at least it’s polite.